GiGi & Moi
Mystory in brief: I am the proud mom of a beautiful daughter, all of 24 years old. I enjoyed our journey together from conception up to this day! I was so excited when the nurse told me I was pregnant; I shared the news with the first person I saw outside in the waiting room, a guy I had not seen in years! So, from then onward I spoke to my unborn baby and read stories to her day and night. I wanted her to speak French which would be our love language since I can’t swear or shout in French!
Pregnancy: This was so exciting! Having someone to touch and talk to on the inside of my “tummy”, sharing what I was doing, eating, my plans for the day. I would start out with preparing a healthy breakfast, yogurt, fruit, and oats (book a wellness assessment if you want more advice).I also took my daily dose of supplements from Sportron, which I highly recommend, especially the Ultragard for optimum support and the Mental Fitness, which ensured that my hormones were balanced, and I was happy and healthy. I was in top form, no morning sickness or any medical complaints. One night I went to see the ballet, Gisele at the theatre, would you believe my baby was dancing in my womb all night long. I have many more fond memories to share of this time, best to follow my blog for more stories.
Transitions
Birth: My Birthday Gift
I walked into the labour ward all happy and ready to pop ( as the saying goes). This turned out to be a special procedure which took a day or two before my bundle of joy was handed over to me…. Be that as it may it was the most amazing encounter! Meeting my gift from above sent with love. It’s a girl… up to that day I had no idea what the gender of my baby was. But I had a name in my heart since high school. I called her “GiGi” the French diminutive of Gisele ( which means promise/pledge and she is indeed my promise from God). I guess that explains why she was dancing in my womb throughout the ballet of Gisele. Would you believe she was born 6 days before my birthday?!
Taking Baby Home
Single Parenting Challenge:
I usually say baby is so good in hospital, she sleeps day and night, you even want to wake her to talk to her…lol wait till she gets home. I remember clearly giving GiGi a bath and the phone ringing…. it wouldn’t stop until I answered it. Guess who’s on the line?… It’s the police on the line. Baby is crying, I am flustered, and I tell the officer I can’t talk and hang up…only to have him call back immediately. This time he tells me not to hang up, my mother is trying to find my new flat and needs directions! I realised I needed a nanny to help and thank goodness for Doris. I remember another ‘crying time’ session, where baby cried non-stop, I told Doris to take her for a walk and not to come back until she stopped crying. So yes, I can relate to mothers who are at their wit’s end when you’ve tried everything, and baby won’t stop crying. It’s best to call a friend if you need a break, the saying “it takes a village to raise a child’’ is very true. One cannot be alone with a baby 24/7 ( please do read my previous blog about parenting: “A lesson from the birds” more about raising children together).
The Early Years
Fun times & Learning: Playing in the park was my absolute favourite; I loved swinging in the park with my girl and the jungle gym was super cool. This was our daily outing and I got to keep fit and bond with my little girl. She loved it so much that she wanted to go in the evening as well. I told her the park is closed. (She accepted that answer. (See explaining things does help). Bedtime story time was another favourite, reading to my baby even while she was asleep ( sometimes I was up washing nappies till at 2am). But I never missed story time. Science has shown many positive effects of reading books, to name a few:
Preschool
I prepared GiGi before she went to pre-school. I took her to the creche and told her that she was going there when she turned four. Every day when we passed the creche I reminded her about it. On the actual day she arrived at the creche the teacher said she had never seen a child so happy and excited about preschool. It turned out to be one of many preschools we had to visit before she was content to stay there until she was ready to leave for “Big School”. Yes, it can be very daunting finding the right fit for your child. But believe me it pays to allow her to make the choice about where and who she is going to stay with all day while you are at work.
Tweens & Teens
Gigi accompanied me everywhere, on the bus, the train, and to night school. I remember people asking, where she was when I was on my own, because they expected us to be together all the time and they loved engaging with her because she was so bubbly and a “clever girl” like Doris used to say!
I enjoyed watching my girl growing up during this phase of physical and emotional change. As a parent, I adopted the authoritative parenting style. Authoritative parents respond to the emotional needs of the child while setting high standards. They set boundaries and are unswerving in enforcing restrictions. The authoritative parenting style produces the best results in children. https://www.parentingforbrain.com/authoritative-parenting/#why
As mom I wanted to set an example for her follow, so I enrolled at varsity to pursue a degree. To my delight she followed in my footsteps and did well at school and is currently a Post Grad student at a prestigious university. It definitely pays to instil a love for learning in your children. You might want to read more about parenting styles to broaden your knowledge. I conducted a research study with parents and preadolescents ( pre-teens) on the topic, “The relationship between parenting style and prosocial behaviour of preadolescents in a South African context." http://hdl.handle.net/10019.1/109308
Parenting a young adult
As my mother used to say, “ It does not matter how old you get; you will always be a child in my eyes”. Letting go has been the most difficult thing for me to do. When at first when my daughter moved out to go to varsity, I cried bitter tears, called her every day umpteen times, she will tell you and sometimes I still do ( a real worry pot). It has been such a wonderful experience to see her grow into an independent young lady and at the same time its not easy to let go(so, if you in this space remember you can call me or connect on our counselling line at any time). Looking ahead I am excited to see how my daughter’s life unfolds as a professional, future wife and mother and I can’t wait to be a grandmother! ( Nothing in the pipeline yet folks).
Reach Out & Touch: If you need a friend or just need to talk to someone, I am available for counselling and support. Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za or WhatsApp: 0835030902
Quote: “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward,” writes Solomon in Psalm 127:3.
QUOTE: ‘I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky!’ Yolanda Adams
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Lots of love
Wendy